Want a Boyfriend? Get a Cat.

‘Ello all,

Just a quick tongue in cheek post today, I’ve been wanting to do an (awesome) outfit post for the last week or so, and was waiting on a flashy new camera for that exact occasion. Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be and the
order had to be cancelled (insert sad shock emoji here), and so to fill the time between now and me deciding on, ordering and receiving a new camera I thought I’d write a lil’ post to tide you/me over.Processed with VSCO

For those of you who don’t know. I’m a fan of cats. Don’t ask me to walk past one on the street without cooing and stroking and making a plethora of baby talk chit chat and/or weird noises with my mouth as I try in vain to get the cat in question to love me. Processed with VSCO

Now, this mad city I call home is notorious for, at times, making people fee a little lonely, isolated, and…well…like you need to jump on a train and escape to mum and dad’s for a while. The long dark nights of Winter definitely don’t help, especially when you’re a singleton. Online dating has made it easier than ever before to find yourself a spoon to warm the cockles of your heart  – and bed- but sometimes, it just ain’t that simple. You find yourself bored on tinder dates and unwilling to give up your independence along with all the benefits of single life for anyone less than Ross Poldark (if you don’t understand that reference, get google imaging NOW). Surely there’s a nice middle ground? Something to tide me over until good ole’ Ross Poldark comes a knockin’? Mutual affection that never gets needy or codependent? No awkward and ultimately unsatisfying bedroom antics? Feeling free to live that single life in London to the max without feeling the need to send that text to your ex at 11pm (we’ve all done it)?

I have the answer, and the answer is cats. Read on to find out why:

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  1. Cats will always pay you attention – you’re the food giver, the ear scratcher, the tummy rubber.
  2. Whilst you know the love they show is purely self serving, you don’t mind, because you know it’s exactly the right amount of love that you need right now. Any more and you may as well have a super needy boyfriend.
  3. Its a no strings attached kind of thing: you don’t need to call them, reply to their texts quickly, because cats don’t care. They also don’t know how to call or text.
  4. The most they can do to hurt you is ignore you when you come in from work late because they had to wait an extra hour to be fed. No heartbreak in sight sister/brother!
  5. Because they’re known for their surliness, its even more heart warming when they actually act like they don’t mind you being around –  that head butt you know is a sign of affection, keeping you company whilst you’re ill and crying at your door every morning so they can come and sleep on your bed – granted – that one’s annoying. But it’s the thought that counts.

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So there you have it. Cats can do it all. Keep your lap warm, be your furry alarm clock, sit on your phone to stop you texting your ex, and warm the cockles of your broken heart until it aint’ broken no more – and, because they’re cats – they do it all with a level of sass us mere one life mortals can only dream of.

Eleanor  Ft. Darcy and Tiz x

 

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